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Year 2008 Reflection
Many things happened to me in Year 2008, one of the most happening years in my life. Topsy turvy year for me!!!! Well let's recall what happened to me. At the beginning of the year, was still enjoying my stay at coffee club. Maybe upgraded to barista? Twas really happy though. Then it went on to getting my results, what a blast! Acing every subject was never I would never have dreamt of, but it happened. Efforts really paid off. Then after that getting enrolled into Ngee Ann Poly Mass Communication, then trying to fit into being a mass commer. Wow. What a blast. And I vividly remember that bestie and me fell out at the beginning of the year, we stopped being friends! Then it went on to me and developing a huge crush on dear baby. Then it went on to getting into many many fights with Auggie. Then it went on to having huge disputes with Mel. And me getting together (finally) with baby and coming clean with my folks who did so many horrible things to kill me and baby. And so on and so on....
All I wanna say is, it all worked out by itself as the year went by and I'm really grateful for Year 2008. Though so many negative things happened to me, if given a choice, I would choose to go through it all over again, the way it was. Year 2008 was probably the most emotional year I guess? Much much more tears and much much more vulnerability. But that also meant much much more laughter and much much more strength. I love 2008 and I hope that 2009 will be an even better year ahead!
Mommy and Daddy:
Though you guys did all those things, I really am no longer mad at you. I know that you guys care and its hard to accept that your daughter is actually in love with a girl, and I know that when things like this happens, you guys don't know how to handle it so you just try to use the way you think is best, in your case by force, to try to solve things. I know I've disappointed you guys greatly because like what you guys said, I've always been the most sensible and filial daughter at home. Then suddenly I throw a bombshell like this at you. And I was so adamant about it I blatantly went against your wishes and fought hard for my case. Because you wanted to make sure that I stopped seeing her, mommy you checked my phone, called my friend Mel up and tried to ask her to keep watch and all. Mommy, what hurt me was the way you tried to handle the situation. I understand that its not very easy for you both to accept what's going on, but that didn't mean that it was alright for you to deprive me of the basic respect of a human's privacy as to go and just check my phone for my friends' contacts. And you had to make things worse by trying to take things into your own hands and started calling Coffee Club management and my school to try and get me expelled just so that you could make sure I would stay at home. Though both of you did so many harms, I really am no longer mad at you. Thank you, for being so concerned and worried for me. Because I've never received so much attention from you both, I really don't require or yearn for this amount of attention. Thank you for tolerating with my immature tantrums and a million apologies for all the harsh things I've uttered to you to hurt you in a bid of my selfish desires. No matter what, you guys will always be my most beloved and respected parents. I love you guys.
Sister:
Though you annoy me all the time, thank you for being there to listen and advice when I was at my lowest. Thank you for keeping quiet. Though currently you no longer wanna help me put in a good word to try convince them to accept us, keeping mum is a way of support for me. Thank you jie jie. Thank you for always guiding me and sharing your viewpoints with me. Yes I admit that we do see things very differently, but hearing your viewpoints never fail to widen my perspective and it always help me make more wise and just decisions. Thank you for always wanting to spend time with me. Thank you for always buying me things I would like if you come across them when you're out. Thank you for being my sister. I'm sorry for always failing to spend time with you, I'm sorry for always putting Baby in front of you, I'm sorry for never wanting to shop with you. Nevertheless, I love you sis.
Dear T109/T104 Buddies:
You guys have been a really great bunch of buddies to die for! Thank you for being such a great bunch of people that made my poly journey really WONDERFUL. People often ask me, whether I regretted entering a polytechnic despite my deserved junior college aggregate. Let me tell you, you guys are the whole reason why there was never a second have I regretted entering a polytechnic or mass communication. I love that I'm in our class, and I hate that we have to shuffle every year. But I guess that's just how we mass commers get to learn how to handle our public relations and grow and mature! So I hope that year 2009 bodes much more happiness and wellness for each and every one of you!
To mavis, you've been a wonderful friend. Though many many many super duper blonde moments, that's the very thing that makes me stay awake during lectures and tutorials! Thank you for staying with me from the very first second till the very last second. Thank you for always helping me guard against fellow mass commers from the next class that could be bitching about me. Thank you for keeping me in mind when you go overseas and always turning to me whenever you need help. But I really miss you. Haven't seen you much in year 2008 but I hope that in year 2009, I'll see more of you! Come on, prove everyone wrong, prove to them that you can be a very responsible and up-to-task girl too. Because you're much more than just a blonde. I know it.
To Sengkang, you're always my best twin ever! :) We have the same thrash to talk, the same laughter, the same retard thinking! Thanks for always listening to my woes and then making me laugh! It really hurts to see you so upset over him, because it really isn't worth it! Loving someone is supposed to bring joy not sorrow! So please, smile and laugh from the bottom of your heart like how the old Alicia Wee Su Ping used to be! Hope that in year 2009, you'll be a much happier sengkang and much crappier girl and most importantly, GET OVER HIM.
To Daddy Jim, a million words can't express what we share. You were my first friend in our class, and I was first to know how you really were actually. Thank you for always beng such a wonderful daddy, thank you for always taking care of me, physically and emotionally. You never fail to make me eat when I skip meals, never fail to make me smile when I frown. You're always nagging at me and taking care of my academic affairs. You always answer my calls even if they're like 3am in the morning! And you never fail to make me laugh my guts out! For always watching out for me and being there for me, THANK YOU! Year 2008 has gone and here is year 2009, you're a year older now but what's most important is that, everything will just get better for you! (Eh eh, gimme a mommy la!!!)
To Auggie, we've come a rather long and winding journey! From the start of school where we hated each other, till we fought till I ended up in tears, till I helped raise funds for the repair fee of your laptop and now, here we are, the crappiest bastard buddies ever! I'm proud of us, and I hope the new year just gets even better for you!
Dear Best:
We've come so far. We had our major argument and we even ceased this strong bond of friendship for a few months! During that period of time, you said it felt like the whole world came crashing down on you. Han did mean things to you, and the bestie whom stood by you for the longest time, left you too. I'm sorry I couldn't be there to ease your pain, I'm sorry for adding on to your pain. I regret but if I were given a choice to go through it again, I would choose to. Because that was how we got here today, somewhere where time spent together was no longer crucial in maintaining our bestie ties. No matter how little time we spent with each other, we always understood each other and you can count on me for sure! As year 2009 embarks, I hope for all the best for you. Better grades, better ties with your folks and definitely a better boyfriend. Not asking you to find someone new, but I hope that Weihan will start treating you better! No matter what, I hope to see bigger smiles on your face!
Dear Closies:
Darlings! You've been a huge part of my life for the longest time ever! :D You guys are a bunch of people I can never do without, and of course you guys are irreplaceable. We've been through so much, and we're gonna go through even more in the future! You guys are a bunch of people I don't ever wanna let go of, so we're literally gonna be friends for LIFE. So sorry you're gonna be stuck to me for life! :DDD Hope the new year is gonna be a new start for you guys and a better future! Future must have me in it hor! (((: I love you guys!
To derder, we've been through quite a lot. From times you always threw your annoying princess tantrums to wanting to disown me as a friend just because you thought I couldn't turn up to celebrate your birthday. Times you would always turn to me when it came to problems, of any kind, especially Weisu! It's great, bringing you and him together, and always being able to solve your communication problem and help you solve many of your relationship problems. You changed quite a bit, after becoming close to me. You curbed your reckless brand-loving spending, though you still tend to WASTE MONEY ON UGLY BRANDED STUFF, you cut down so much on your selfishness and your spoiltness and you started learning how to consider other people's feelings. I'm darn proud of you I tell you! But there's more for you to improve on, your turdiness, your punctuality, and your sense of responsibility. Of course you still need to improve on learning to spare a thought for others. But guess what? Though you're so flawed, you're my bestest buddy that is not allowed to leave my life. You're in, till the day I die, we're still gonna be CLOSIES. Hope that as year 2009 impends, you'll grow as a person and mature, and your relationship will mature and grow stronger too. Impress me amanda, impress me.
To tiantian, I guess this year was kinda a journey to you too? You fall in and out of love, but we enjoyed the essence of it! All I wanna say is, though a lot of your close friends jumped to say he sucks, you know I won't because both of us have the ability to see things from a more matured point of view. No matter what, you can count on me that I'll always be there and I'll always be your buddy. Count on me, and make sure I can count on you too?
BABY! There's tons to say yet I don't even know where to start! I started liking you since December 2007, but I was unsure of it. Then came year 2008, it was rough, I was forcing myself to let you go. Luckily I failed. Because on 13th June 2008, we became one. Words can't describe how much you mean to me, because you mean more than anything and everything. Since the day I got together with you, something happened to me. I became so much happier. You and everyone else say that I'm actually a very happy girl and they hardly see me frown, but no one knows what happens behind closed doors. Now let me tell you what happens behind closed doors when I became your baby, I smile at totally nothing just thinking of you, I become a smitten little vulnerable girl when you say things I'll melt at, I cry when things between us go wrong, my heart aches when something bad happens to you. You changed me baby. You brought my faith back. From what was happening to people around me, I lost my faith in love, in relationships. I feared commitment, because I never failed to disappoint people who had expectations of me. You appeared, and I don't know why, when you told me you had feelings for me, the fear dissisipated. All I wanted to do was to love you good and love you right, and be loved by you too. Because of you, I started believing in Forevers. I started wanting to commit wholly, faithfully in us. I started becoming feminine, because I wanted to look good for you. Whenever you told me I look nice, I'd be thrilled. We've gone through a lot, from my folks, to people who didn't believe that I could commit, to people who didn't believe you got together with me truly because you loved me but only because you needed a comfort zone, to sam and the rather long past you had with her, to people I was close to (maybe too close), to guys that I would hug, to my mad family wanting to send me overseas (though everything is still unconfirmed)...So many so many. We've braved through all of this together, and guess what? We'll go even further. Hold my hand, walk next to me. Stay with me and hold me tight, as we go through more obstacles together, alright? I can no longer imagine me without you. I think I'll be lost and won't even last a day. I'd be so afraid because there's no you to see me through. You always think you're lousy, but actually you're the best. So good, that I became selfish, I don't wanna share you with anyone or anything. I want you, all to myself. You're the very reason for this beating heart, so if you go, it'll stop? So stay close, don't go. Because I love you, more than anything, I really do love you. Year 2009 is gonna be great for us, because its the continuation of our journey, where we'll both love each other even more, and grow even stronger and sweeter and cuter as a couple. Baby you're my everything.
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